Yesterday a precious 12-year old girl we have been praying for, lost her fight to cancer. Jessica Joy Rees, who bravely fought 2 brain tumors earned her wings and walked into the gates of heaven. I cried...a lot. Wept. Wept with my family as we prayed for her mommy & daddy and her brother and sister. Cried as I put my babies to bed. Cried as I laid in bed. I never had the chance to meet her, but I felt as though I knew her. I kiss a little girl her same age, every day. I tuck her in at night, I dream about her future. I can't imagine holding my 12 year old for the last time until heaven...and clinging to the hope of something I can't see. Not knowing when I will FINALLY get to hold her again. It sure makes me cling to the cross and the hope that Jesus promises in scripture. It makes the little irritating things in life, small and pointless. It makes rocking and holding my babies a perfect place to cry and ask God "why"...why he chose not to heal sweet Jessica Joy? Why he chose heaven to heal her instead when she was spreading so much joy and hope here on this painful earth.
It makes me face some of my own biggest fears....losing someone I love. Do I trust the Lord enough to sustain me? Do I truly believe His plan is FAR better than my own? Would I be as brave as Abraham when God asked him to give him his son? I pray that I do/am. I beg God to give me the ability to live each day teaching my children about our sweet Jesus and His unfathomable love for us....ABOVE all else. To TRUST His perfect plan for each of us in life on earth and death on earth. Whatever it looks like, regardless of the valleys....I want my heart to totally TRUST him with all my earthly possessions.
Gulp....that's a big place of vulnerability as a mother, a sister, a daughter, a wife, a friend. To love on earth is to risk your heart being broken....and to trust that God will pick up the pieces and mend it as best as He can until we can be in our perfect heavenly home.
Take a moment to read about this little angel baby....http://www.jessicajoyrees.com/
What a gift she was to all who knew here and all who didn't.
Here is a picture of her and her Daddy - Erik, just a month ago....
When I first saw this picture on her Facebook, I smiled because she has a precious daddy. He seems very humble in spirit...he has been a pastor for quite some time at Saddleback Church in Orange County. He and his beautiful wife inspired Jessie to NEGU by spreading joy to other courageous children fighting cancer.
When I saw this picture after we heard of her passing, I couldn't help but cry. Jessie had a beautiful life on earth and was loved by an amazing earthly daddy. Something some of us never experienced as little girls. But this picture is what God wants for all of us. He wants it for us on earth but unfortunately the world is broken and full of sin...so He promises it in heaven. He promises to hold each of us like this...spiritually today and physically one day when we join him and get our wings like Jessie did yesterday! She left the arms of her sweet earthly daddy, right into the arms of her heavenly daddy. <3
Honored to love on earth.....
-jcrew mommy
